The thought of this post getting out there for everyone to read it just scares the hell out of me, but that is exactly why I am posting it. For those of you that have a complicated relationship with your dad. In honor of Father’s Day, I felt the need to share a little more of my personal life with you. I know that most of you follow my blog for the fact that I am a plus size woman that loves fashion. Or the fact that I write a lot of boss babe inspired posts, but today I want to share more with you than just my favorite dress at the moment. I want to share a big part of my story with you. I hope that you are ready because, to be honest, I may not be.
This is my favorite and one of the few photos that I have with me and my dad together. Meet my dad, David, a hard working man that lost his life too soon. I don’t even know where to begin.
My dad and I haven’t always been the closest. He got my mom pregnant at a young age and then left her while she was pregnant to join the Navy. I know that it sounds horrible because it was, but the truth is that he wasn’t ready to be a father. He was in and out of most of my life, he made me cry, and made me feel like he didn’t love me. He missed father-daughter dances, he missed all of the football games that I cheered at, he even missed my high school graduation. I can count every single fight that we got into, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough for him to want to always be around me. Some may say that he was not the best father, but I can’t say that it was his fault, not entirely. When someone wasn’t taught how to love another person, how can you expect them to love you?
When I did get to see my dad, we always had an amazing time. He took me to the San Diego Zoo, I got to go on his boat, and he even took me ice skating. When he wanted to be, he was the best dad that a girl could ever ask for. I can remember every single moment that I got to spend with him growing up. Him not being around all of the time, made the moments that we did get to spend together even more special.
As I got older I started to accept the fact that he wasn’t always around, but once I accepted it, we became closer. He taught me to always be humble, to be thankful, and to be strong. A big part of who I am today is thanks to him. Him not being around showed me that I am strong. I am able to take care of myself in the worst situations. I don’t need anyone to depend on, and if I want something in life, I have to get it myself. He also taught me to not take things for granted, he is proof that people are not going to be around forever.
September of this year will be five years that my dad has been gone. Once again; he wasn’t there to give me away at my wedding, he isn’t going to be there when his grandchildren are born, and he will miss their high school graduation. It hurts to say that out loud, but it’s the truth. Dad’s are blessings, mine was a blessing in disguise.
I want to thank my dad for everything that he has done for me. He may not have even known what he has done, but he has helped me out tremendously. For those of you that have a weird relationship with your dad, try to see the good in what he is teaching you by not being around, or by being too harsh on you. Do me a favor, make sure that you tell your dad that you love him today. Even if you have to write him a letter and throw it away, he won’t be around forever.